This or that questions for couples: 37 picks with real results
Thirty-seven this or that questions for couples, relationship edition: no “coffee or tea”, just the quick picks that actually say something about the two of you. Each one comes with how couples voted in the coupleroom app, so after you both pick you can see whether you are the 26% or the 74%.
37 questions ·
How to play this or that as a couple
- Read both options out loud. Each of you says “this” or “that” within three seconds. No thinking, no explaining.
- Count your matches as you go. Ten in a row is a good night.
- When you split, the slower picker explains first, in one sentence.
- At the end, go back to the one split that surprised you most. That is the conversation.
This or that is the fast version of would you rather: shorter options, quicker rounds, less debate per question. It works in the car, in a queue or over text.
Play it right here
Play: this or that
Pick fast, no explaining yet. Tap your side to see how other couples voted.
This or that: the two of you
Together or apart, private or public, alike or opposite. The quick picks about how you work as a couple.
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Have a shared circle of friends58%
or
Have separate friend groups42% -
Be with someone who’s your opposite49%
or
Be with someone who’s a lot like you51% -
Be the couple that does everything together and is inseparable49%
or
Be a couple that gives each other plenty of space51% -
Be a couple that loves an active, fast-paced life40%
or
Be a couple that chooses calm, slow weekends, and zero pressure60% -
Be the couple that plans everything together - from weekends to shopping61%
or
Be a couple that acts spontaneously and each handles their own things39% -
Have a very close bond with your partner’s friends and go out together69%
or
Splitting worlds into “our friends” and “your friends”31% -
Live far from your partner, but have intense meetups once in a while47%
or
Live close by, but spend little time together each day53% -
Posting photos together on social media52%
or
Keep things private and not post photos together online48% -
Know each other’s passwords, calendars, and everything going on in each other’s life59%
or
Have clear boundaries and areas that stay off-limits41% -
Cry freely with your partner - full emotional openness56%
or
Process difficult emotions alone first, and only then talk about the topic44% -
Be in a relationship built on deep romantic love, but without a strong friendship45%
or
Be in a relationship built on friendship, but with less romantic love55% -
Be in a passionate relationship, but without financial stability55%
or
Be in a financially stable, secure relationship, but with less passion45%
This or that: fights and honesty
How you argue, who you tell, and how much of the past you want to know.
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Resolve conflicts right away - even if it means a long night63%
or
Give each other space, cool off, and come back to it tomorrow37% -
Go to couples therapy during a relationship crisis48%
or
Work through crises just between yourselves52% -
Sharing relationship problems with friends35%
or
Keeping relationship issues to yourself65% -
Know about all of your partner’s past relationships55%
or
Don't ask about the past unless it affects your relationship45% -
Open talks about past relationships, which can build honesty, but may spark jealousy or unease68%
or
Keeping details of the past to yourself, which is discreet, but can create barriers in communication32% -
Regularly do a “relationship check-in,” talk about what’s working and what’s not68%
or
Not overthink too much and just live, until something comes up on its own32% -
Directly resolving conflicts can quickly clear up misunderstandings, but it may lead to tough conversations72%
or
Avoiding confrontation, which skips discussions in the here and now, but may leave issues unresolved28%
This or that: money, work and home
Overtime or balance, rent or buy, a pet or freedom.
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Work overtime, but reach our goals faster49%
or
Keep the balance, even if it takes longer51% -
Work more to reach our shared goals faster55%
or
Work less, but have more time for yourself45% -
Switch jobs to something more exciting, but less stable52%
or
Stay in a stable but less fulfilling job48% -
Buy an apartment as soon as possible, even with a loan57%
or
Rent and not be tied down to a mortgage for 30 years43% -
Buy your own apartment, with stability, but bigger financial commitments65%
or
Rent a place, enjoying more flexibility, but without long-term stability35% -
Combining finances, which makes planning easier but can lead to conflicts over spending53%
or
Keeping separate accounts, which gives independence but can make shared financial goals harder47% -
Spending money on an expensive hobby that feels fulfilling but may strain the household budget49%
or
Saving money for unexpected expenses, which brings security but limits the chance to enjoy life51% -
Investing in expensive, romantic gifts, which adds magic but can be costly38%
or
Focusing on creating shared experiences (e.g. trips, workshops), which builds memories, but may take more time and energy62% -
Adopt a pet that brings lots of joy, but limits your freedom62%
or
Have no pet and total freedom38% -
Keeping a minimalist interior, which makes tidying and cleaning easier, but can feel a bit cold53%
or
Filling the home with keepsakes and personal items, creating a cozy atmosphere but making it harder to keep tidy47%
This or that: family, kids and holidays
Whose family for the holidays, how big a wedding, and the questions about kids.
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Holidays always with one family26%
or
Splitting the holidays equally between two families74% -
Every Sunday with family, tradition matters43%
or
Family get-togethers only on special occasions57% -
Traditional family celebration in a big group57%
or
Spending the holidays traveling and stepping away from “traditional” family gatherings43% -
Raise children in one religious tradition41%
or
Don’t force religion on the kids, let them choose for themselves59% -
A big wedding with family and friends42%
or
An intimate celebration just for two or with your closest loved ones58% -
Have kids so you “won’t regret it,” even if you’re not 100% ready47%
or
Not have kids and live for yourselves, with the risk that one day you might regret your decision53% -
Traveling with kids that’s educational and enriching, but can be tiring and limiting45%
or
Adults-only trips that are relaxing and full of freedom, but may bring up guilt and longing for the kids55% -
Spending a lot of time with family, which builds family bonds but may limit privacy39%
or
Keeping some distance from our families, which allows for independence and our own space, but can weaken family bonds61%
More quick games for two
Ran out of picks? The would you rather questions for couples are the bigger, slower decisions. For something sillier, try funny questions to ask your partner or a round of truth or dare for couples. The coupleroom app has a new Dilemma every week and shows you each other’s picks.
What is this or that for couples?
A quick-fire game: one of you reads two options, you both pick one on the spot, then compare. It is lighter than would you rather because the options are short and you are not meant to deliberate.
Where do the percentages come from?
From the weekly Dilemma in the coupleroom app, where couples vote on one pair of options each week. The share for each side is rounded and refreshed from the app every week.
Can we play this or that over text?
Yes. Send one pair at a time and agree to answer before reading the other person’s reply. In the coupleroom app both picks stay hidden until you have both voted.