Questions for couples: 350+ questions to ask your partner
Ready-made questions for couples: deep questions to ask your partner, fun conversation starters, relationship questions about the future and family, and the ones that are hard to ask outright. All free, no account needed. Pick a list below, or start with the first forty on this page.
Questions by topic
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Questions to ask your boyfriend: 80 cute, funny and deep
80 questions to ask your boyfriend, sorted by mood: cute and fun ones to warm up, flirty questions for a night in, hypothetical and random questions for a laugh, questions to get to know him better, and the deep ones you have been meaning to ask. Every question works both ways, so answer each one yourself too.
80 questions
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Questions to ask your girlfriend: 77 cute, flirty and deep
77 questions to ask your girlfriend, sorted by mood: cute questions, flirty ones for later in the evening, fun and random questions for a laugh, deep questions, and questions about the future you are building. Every question works both ways, so answer each one yourself too.
77 questions
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Couples quiz: how well do you know your partner? 63 questions
A couples quiz with 63 questions, all in one format: which one of you? Each of you answers every question about the two of you, then you compare. The matches are fun; the mismatches are where you find out how well you actually know each other.
63 questions
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Would you rather questions for couples: 55 with real results
Fifty-five would you rather questions for couples, each with something no other list has: how real couples voted. They come from the weekly Dilemma in the coupleroom app, where couples have cast more than 28,000 votes so far. Pick a side each, compare, then check whether you are with the crowd.
58 questions
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Deep questions to ask your partner: 40 for real conversations
40 deep questions to ask your partner, for the evenings when small talk is not enough: what love means to each of you, what makes you feel safe together, how you handle hard days, and how you see the world. Answer every question yourself too. None of these appear on our other question lists, so if you have worked through those, start here.
40 questions
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Funny questions to ask your partner: 40 fun couple questions
Forty funny questions to ask your partner when the evening needs a laugh more than a deep talk: silly hypotheticals, random questions and the fun couple questions only the two of you can answer. They all work both ways, so you each answer every one.
40 questions
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Truth or dare questions for couples: 38 truths and dares
Truth or dare for couples, built for two people on a couch: no props, no party, nothing you would not do in your own living room. Twenty-eight truth questions that go from funny to flirty to spicy, and ten silly dares from the free deck in the coupleroom app, each timed at one to three minutes.
38 questions
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This or that questions for couples: 37 picks with real results
Thirty-seven this or that questions for couples, relationship edition: no “coffee or tea”, just the quick picks that actually say something about the two of you. Each one comes with how couples voted in the coupleroom app, so after you both pick you can see whether you are the 26% or the 74%.
37 questions
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36 questions to fall in love: the full list (Arthur Aron, NYT)
Thirty-six questions, three sets, about 45 minutes. They come from a 1997 study by psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues, and they work for the same reason a good first date does: each question asks for slightly more than the last, and both of you answer every one.
36 questions
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Date night questions: 36 romantic conversation starters
Thirty-six date night questions in the order a good evening goes: easy warm-ups while you order, romantic questions over dinner, memories with dessert and the dreams you only talk about late. Use them at a restaurant or on a night in; they work just as well with candles on the coffee table.
36 questions
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Newlywed game questions: 36 funny ones and how to play
The newlywed game in one line: one partner answers a question about themselves, the other has to guess the answer first. These 36 newlywed game questions work for engaged couples, newlyweds and couples who have been together for twenty years and think they have nothing left to learn.
36 questions
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Questions to ask before marriage: 36 to talk through first
Thirty-six questions to ask before marriage, grouped into the four topics couples most often discover they never actually discussed: money, family, trust and the future. They are not a test with right answers. They are a way to find out where you already agree, and which conversations you still need to have.
36 questions
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Relationship check-in questions: 30 for a weekly check-in
Thirty relationship check-in questions for a regular couples check-in: a short, scheduled conversation about how the two of you are actually doing. In the coupleroom Dilemma, **68% of couples said they would rather do a regular check-in** than wait until a problem comes up on its own. These questions make it easy to start.
30 questions
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Spicy questions to ask your partner: 30 flirty to intimate
Thirty spicy questions to ask your partner, in three steps: flirty questions that are fun to ask anywhere, intimate questions about desire and touch, and the conversations about fantasies and boundaries that make the rest of your sex life easier to talk about. Honest, not crude.
30 questions
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Questions to ask your partner about the future and plans
Talking about the future is often harder than talking about the past, because it covers the things you have not settled yet. These questions make a start.
23 questions
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Questions to ask your partner about family and kids
Family shapes what we expect from a relationship, usually long before we can name it. These questions help you name it.
22 questions
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21 questions for couples: the game, from light to deep
The 21 questions game for couples: twenty-one questions, asked in order, each one a little more personal than the last. It takes about half an hour, works on a date, a road trip or over text, and is the quickest way to learn something new about someone you already know well.
21 questions
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Questions to ask your partner about the past and memories
Memories are the easiest way back into a conversation when everyday life has taken all your subjects away.
20 questions
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Deep questions for couples about values and beliefs
Politics and faith are the deep questions couples tend to route around to avoid a row. A calm conversation works better than avoidance.
20 questions
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Intimate questions to ask your partner: intimacy for couples
Intimate questions to ask your partner are hardest when you have no way in. These are a way in — about communication and desire, not technique.
15 questions
Conversation starters for couples
- What do you admire most about each other?
- What makes you feel loved in your relationship?
- Which moments in your relationship make you feel closest to each other?
- What does “acceptance” of your partner mean to you?
- What has your relationship taught you most about love?
- What helps you calm down after an argument?
- What would your lives look like if you had never met?
- What gives you a sense of safety in your relationship?
- How do you understand “compromise” in a relationship?
- Which emotions are the hardest for you to express in your relationship?
- How do you show love without using words?
- What would your dream family celebration look like?
- What three words describe your relationship best?
- Do you think love is a choice or something that just happens?
- What does good communication mean to you in a relationship?
- What sounds, scents, or lighting create the perfect atmosphere for you during sex?
- What do you appreciate most about how you understand each other?
- Which memory always makes you smile?
- How do you deal with frustration in your relationship?
- What do you like most about the way you show affection to each other?
- How do you feel when silence appears between you in difficult moments?
- What has surprised you most about love?
- What emotion comes to mind most often when you think about your relationship?
- What does “respect” for each other mean to you?
- Which elements of your home’s decor make it feel warm and cozy?
- You have a million dollars – what would you spend it on first?
- How do you take care of friendships when life gets busy?
- What attracts you most to each other – physically or emotionally?
Relationship questions for this week
- What social or political issue do you care about most right now?
- What would your dream dinner date look like?
- What plans do you keep saying you’ll do “someday” and why haven’t you yet?
- What kind of pet would you love to have together?
- What sex position feels the most comfortable for both of you?
- What city or country feels like a second home to you?
- What usually goes through your mind right before you fall asleep?
- What would your perfect night together look like? What would have to happen?
- How do you handle it when you have different opinions on the same topic?
- What situations tend to kill your desire?
Which list should you start with?
- A normal evening, nothing planned: the conversation starters above, or date night questions.
- You have only just started dating: first date ideas and questions, or 21 questions for couples.
- You want to laugh: funny questions to ask your partner or a round of would you rather.
- You want a real conversation: deep questions to ask your partner.
- You are thinking long term: questions to ask before marriage and the relationship check-in questions.
- You want to test each other: the couples quiz or the newlywed game questions.
What are good questions to ask your partner?
Questions that need a story rather than a yes or no: what their perfect lazy weekend looks like, which memory of the two of you they would relive, what they wish you understood about them more deeply. Mix one light question with one deeper one, and answer each yourself.
What are good relationship questions for couples who have been together a long time?
Ask about change: how you have each changed since you met, what habit you picked up from each other, what you want the next five years to look like. Long-term couples tend to stop asking because they assume they know the answer, and they are often wrong.
How do you start a conversation with your partner?
Ask one specific question at a time when you are both doing something easy, like cooking or walking. A conversation starter for couples works best when it is concrete: “which song reminds you of us?” gets further than “how are we doing?”